Yes yes! I know. Some of you are here because of the title. I hit a nerve, right?
One of the things I wished for very much when I was pregnant was to breastfeed my baby. Those first days were torment because he was really hungry, I did not have enough and the milk was not coming and he had trouble latching… Overall I had an awful experience in the maternity, but that is another story. But I remember spending the last night crying my ass off and talking with my husband who was trying to get me to calm down because breastfeeding is not a must. If it happens, it’s great, but if not, guess what? It’s also great! He’s not gonna starve…
So why do women today make such a big fuss about it? I read and saw some things that made me cringe. Really!
My personal opinion is that this is how some women know how to deal with this new life that depends on them. Or they are scared that the little human is growing incredibly fast and they want to keep him close a little while longer (I do understand this better than you may think). But really, breastfeeding until four years old is a bit too much in my opinion. Not judging. Just my opinion.
So I worked my way through all the emotions with breastfeeding. The possibility that it may not happen, the pain, the frequency, the ending. And it was not such a big thing. After a few weeks we got used to each other, the pain was gone, and I started being more confident about everything.
But really, after those first months, when I had to pump the milk because they were leaking, and I couldn’t wait for him to get hungry (needless to say he would get hungry as soon as I would finish emptying my breasts), after all that, you know what? I got the easy fix. In my opinion, breastfeeding moms shouldn’t be raised on a pedestal. We do what we have to do, and we have it easy. We lay our child in bed, he eats and we can nap. Seriously. I did it, not intentionally, but I was just so tired, and it was about 3-4 am, and I just fell asleep. Nothing happened. He ate and fell asleep.
But those moms that can’t breastfeed, that have to constantly wash and sterilize bottles and have an alarm to make sure they feed the baby according to a strict schedule, those mom that have to run around, making the milk, heating it, feeding the baby, all sometimes really fast, while the baby cries, those moms should be applauded.
Not only do they face this every day and succeed in taking care of their child, but they also have to face all those looks of disapproval, the constant glare of breastfeeding moms and people with no idea about what this means.
Really? Can we not be mature enough to at least act decent and not force our opinions on people. We are so quick to judge, seeing something we don’t necessarily approve.
And oh my god! God forbid the mother having medical reasons for choosing not to breastfeed! Everybody thinks they have to know and you are obligated to tell them everything. And there’s always that person, right? “Oh I know someone with << insert medical condition here>> and she still breastfed her baby.”
Yes, that definitely helps a poor mom, already struggling with emotions and insecurities, little sleep and so many mean people. Good job, you, making her feel like she failed her child!
I saw the same reactions regarding nipple shields. Those things were made with a purpose. Not to give pain or make the baby eat less. I used them. We needed them and after almost two months, we didn’t need them anymore. But right there, in the beginning. they were really helpful!!! And I am grateful to the person that thought about them. Thank you!
You know what the most important thing is for me? My baby is healthy, fed, and happy. Definitely not the breastfeeding part.
Grow up, people!
And moms, you are awesome! Keep doing the best you can. I am sure your child is happy and growing fast. Time is to precious to be spent with mean people!
Breastfeeding or not, your child is loved, is cared for, and that is all that matters. If you unconditionally love your child, you already are an amazing mom. And you don’t need other’s opinions on this.
photo source pixabay.com