I believe this is a subject that I need to talk about. We should all talk about this so that phrases like “boys will be boys” would not exist. Because these are used to justify improper behavior, sometimes violent behavior.
I strongly believe we are better than that. We are human beings, supposedly with high intelligence. But all kids grow up learning and doing the things they learned.
As parents, it is our responsibility to teach them that they can move mountains, be whatever they wish to be. And it is also our responsibility to teach them how to behave. Teach them to be kind to others, to be good independent grown ups.
I have a 2 and a half year old boy. I bought him his own broom set when he was one year old. Tiny, because he is tiny, obviously. And I taught him that after he eats, he has to take his dishes to the kitchen and give them to me. I am teaching him to clean up after himself. For me, this is a normal human thing to do. But I know people and I know of people, grown-ups, who don’t do this silly thing. And I also know people who think that what I am doing is wrong, because he is a child and I’m supposed to let him play and do what he wants and I have to just pick everything up behind him.
No! I think this kind of sheltering the kid is something very bad and in time puts holes in the relationship. We should treat children as children, but we should also treat them as future adults. We need to teach them about life, not by sheltering them, but by involving them into our everyday chores and tasks.
This way, they learn to appreciate themselves and appreciate the effort of people around them. Teach them to say thank you and please, but say the words to them in return.
Kids learn by example. Be that example.
Don’t justify their bad behavior by saying “boys will be boys”, “girls will be girls”, “kids are just kids”.
We all want change in the world, and people expect change to just happen. But change starts within us, and with us. By simply choosing to be kind instead of mean one time, it means you are exercising change. Teaching our children to do this from an early age will grow into a healthy habit. This is change. This is how we change the world.
Not by some parenting trend to not say “no” to children (which I believe it’s another of those really bad things), but by teaching them that “no” is part of life and they should accept it and move on.
I think I may have gone off-track a bit. It happens…
My point is: start teaching kids better behavior, and don’t turn to excuses. There are no excuses for inappropriate behaviour.
Do better! Be better!
photo source pixabay.com